The Chinese symbol for crisis is made up of two other symbols, danger and opportunity. I will take you on our journey through the danger and how we came out the other side with an opportunity that has never been presented before, in my lifetime, as it has right now. I hope this holds something of value for you.
I have been in absolute awe, over the last few days, as the men in my men’s groups have been unpacking their feelings around the election of Donald Trump. I am so grateful to have been part of those processes. The feelings ranged from anger, fear, disgust, hatred, and sadness, just to name a few.
Start The Journey
In my first circle at, 11:00am on Wednesday Nov 9, I was in quite a swirl of emotions as many were. As I checked in I felt deeply into what was happening for me. I had fear, sadness and gratitude. I was fairly sure where the fear and sadness were but I was unclear about the gratitude. The gratitude felt like a relief. A relief that this was over and a relief that a deeper knowing was about to start unfolding. You see two weeks earlier it came to me that Trumps election would be an accelerator to the shift I so desire to see in the world. And I did not know what this meant and I am still a little unclear.
I started to unpacked the fear and I realized that some of my fear was about being attacked, when I eluded to others in my circle, that I had this sense that Trump would be elected. Scathing attacks followed and I could not give any more information other than that I had a sense that this was going to be a benefit in the log run. The sadness was also attached to a wound I have about needing to keep quiet or love would be withheld from me. An old pattern from my parents growing up that still continues in my family today.
Other men checked in there was a visceral hatred and fear that was very palpable from many of the men. Eighty percent of the men seemed to hold these views to varying degrees. I could feel there fear and sadness as they shared stories of their children experiencing of the hatred at school already. I could sense their feelings of helplessness and the need to raise their fists and yell WHY! As they checked in one after another the layers of emotions piled on. I was getting lost in their emotions and it was having me question what was happening for me. Did I really believe this asshole could really bring about monumental change for the good?
Putting The Pieces Together
Then it came to me that is was not about what Trump was going to do to “make things better or worse” but what we as individuals were going to do to make ourselves better! That in each moment we have the power to choose how we will show up. The “Why” has no more value. Only the How and the What. How will I show up in the face of this new unknown and what will I do now to bring love and light into the perceived void. As men started to contemplate this I could sense their emotions starting to soften and their helplessness turned Into an opportunity for a growth spurt within themselves. And when One grows we all get a taste of that one man can impact many.
As we checked out of the meeting I closed with how I have been and said many of the things
Trump had said. I challenged the others to speak up if they had not made derogatory remarks about women, other cultures or the less fortunate. No one spoke up. We all got to see our own darkness and festering wounds that have been glossed over up by a systemic cultural coverup.
So here we are. The scab of humanity has been peeled back for all of us to gawk at, like at the scene of an accident. The dark shadows, that represent the underbelly of America and most of our Western cultures, lay bare to be looked at, embraced and loved back into the light of truth. These dark shadows first need to be witnessed and healed within ourselves and from their that new found light will leak into the world.
This is the opportunity we now have before us. We will take it? Or will be keep pointing the fingers at all those around us. Remember when you point a finger away from yourself there are 3 other fingers pointing back at you.